There is nothing easy about Defence Life. For the partners of serving members, it takes every ounce of strength, determination, creativity and resilience we have to navigate this world for ourselves, much less guide our families through too!
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My heart is to make this a community where we can learn from each other, because no one should be doing this life alone!
From a Defence Wife who learned everything the hard way: I hope you’ll recognise my struggles and achievements in your own journey and know that you’re not alone! From long separations, to household management, Army culture-shock, new postings, Defence housing and everything in-between: here you’ll find my honest thoughts on the experience of being a military spouse, along with any tips and techniques I've learned along the way which might help simplify your life as an Army wife and help you feel a little more at home in the world of Defence.
Jessica xo
Life as an Army wife CAN be a struggle, but together; maybe it can be a life where we thrive, instead of just survive…
I wish I'd known this before becoming a Defence wife: the challenges of starting over and over again…
After a while, Military spouse life becomes its own familiar rhythm; sometimes it feels daunting, but daring - fearless, but also fear-inducing. Yet something that throws me off each and every time we relocate, is the overwhelming pile of admin we need to complete with each change of address.
I wish I'd known this before becoming a Defence wife: How to quickly turn an unfamiliar house into a home
Here's how we have learned to settle in quickly and make each new rental house feel like home for our four children and ourselves; I hope that If you have yet to step into this lifestyle and have fears about constantly uprooting and making a new place feel like home - that the tips we've learned across four Defence relocations with young children might help you to settle into a new routine for your family as you begin your ADF journey…
I wish I'd known this before becoming a Defence Wife: I'd be leaving the home where milestones & memories lived
Whether you're uprooting from the neighbourhood and house you thought would be your “forever home” or preparing to move on from the rental house you turned into your family's haven and safe space; the goodbyes and the grieving process look the same.
The hardest two weeks of every absence: I wish I'd known this before becoming a Defence wife…
I remember thinking so many times back when I was a brand new defence wife, how much I wished I'd had a friend, relative or mentor in the Australian army world - a sisterly type - who would share with me all the things I didn't know.
Exactly what was I supposed to be preparing myself for? What were the hardships I didn't know were coming?
I want to share with you one of those tidbits of information I wish I'd had someone to share with me back before I became a military spouse and mama: that the first and last week of every serving member's absence are an absolute nightmare; it's normal! And you will survive them.
Why I hate being a military spouse sometimes (and it's okay if you do too!)
I have a love/hate relationship with being a military spouse and for a long time - I struggled with that. Any time I felt angry at having to juggle the emotions of grieving children, or navigate the struggles of solo parenting, or sit with my own loneliness and loss of opportunities - I thought I was being disloyal to my husband and unpatriotic toward my country. But you know what? When we signed up to serve our country - (that's right, I said “we” … because behind every married soldier is a brave and noble woman who is working equally as hard to serve her country by making a borrowed house into a home and raising capable, resilient, emotionally adjusted children - all without the support of her spouse) we didn't abdicate our human nature. We don't become the military equivalent of Stepford wives; service with a smile at any expense.
We all chose our hard in life and we get to be human and feel the full effect of that choice. We get to say out loud: it's hard and sometimes I hate it - without anyone shutting us down with “but you chose it”.
New Military posting? - Follow these tips for a smooth delivery day!
I've been an Australian army wife for five years now … still a newbie - I know! … but having completed three military relocations in just five years - I've been forced to learn a thing or two! I thought I'd compile a list of my top tips for a smooth defence move and spare you a little of my military wife heartache! These are the things I wish we'd known before posting with the defence force:
A letter to the Military wife and mama living with chronic pain…
Dear military mama living with chronic pain,
My hat goes off and my heart goes out to you. I know how brave you've had to be: so much braver than anyone will ever know.
10 unconventional but effective ways to tame a “busy brain” - Military spouse edition!
Are you the owner of a “busy brain"? Do you have constant internal chatter and thoughts that race at a million miles an hour while you're trying to fall asleep? - Me too!
As a Military wife of 5 years now - I have seriously had to up my game! I solo parent my four children for anywhere from 5 to 10 months every year; living in chaos is just NOT an option anymore.
Here is the list of 10 crazy swaps I've made in the last couple of years to try and tame my busy brain and get a handle on semi-organised living (because let's face it, we can tame the busy … but it's always going to be crowded in there ;) )
The unfiltered truth of life as an Army wife and Military mama: (let's normalise real here!)
Are you like me and desperate for some military wife solidarity? Is your life utter chaos when your loved one isn't home? … Me too! Our lives turn upside down each time our soldier walks out the door and we're left to juggle the house, yard and a million other things, along with our grieving babies …. let's be kind to ourselves and normalise the chaos.
Top 7 Chistmas gift ideas for the soldier in your life - basic training essentials!
Is there a Soldier in your life? Check out these top Christmas gift ideas for the new recruit heading into basic training!
Leaving an Army post - final week preparations
The final week at any Army Posting is nothing short of hectic! Here’s how we tackle all the last minute ‘to do’s’ and the checklist that saves my sanity - grab your own copy today!
The longest goodbye - Defence family posting time
“We’re no strangers to farewells, it’s a part of the life, but of all the many goodbyes we say as a Defence family; this is always the longest.”
Posting Time is here; It’s time for the longest goodbye.
10 Things I didn’t know about being a Military Wife!
My Top Ten “I had no idea” moments as a brand new Military Wife; are any a surprise to you?
Military life in the Australian bush
Military life in the Australian Bush is not for the faint of heart! How would you fare?
Date Night Inspiration
Here are our top ten go-to ideas for date nights as a busy military couple; for when life takes over and date nights out become couple nights in!
After a while, Military spouse life becomes its own familiar rhythm; sometimes it feels daunting, but daring - fearless, but also fear-inducing. Yet something that throws me off each and every time we relocate, is the overwhelming pile of admin we need to complete with each change of address.