10 unconventional but effective ways to tame a “busy brain” - Military spouse edition!
Are you the owner of a “busy brain"? Do you have constant internal chatter throughout the day and thoughts that race at a million miles an hour while you're trying to fall asleep? - Me too!
Woman looking stressed by Canva's text to Image
For the vast majority of my adult life I have accepted defeat; I’ve lived in a chaotic storm of misremembered details, missed appointments, failed deadlines and clutter piles that mysteriously disappear and reappear around my house (no item ever making it back to it's proper home).
As a Military wife of 5 years now - I have seriously had to up my game! I solo parent my four children for anywhere from 5 to 10 months every year while my army husband attends a million different military training courses, field exercises and deployments: living in chaos is just NOT an option anymore.
Here is the list of 10 crazy swaps I've made in the last couple of years to try and tame my busy brain and get a handle on semi-organised living (because let's face it, we can tame the busy … but it's always going to be crowded in there ;) )
1) Make tasks stupidly easy:
As a Military wife living in rented defence housing who frequently solo parents for months long stretches; this step is key to my sanity (and often my kids’ safety!)
What I mean is that I've been known to store the lawn mower on my backyard patio because if I'm juggling four young children on my own and it's stored in the garage at the other end of my property - I'm just not going to go and fetch it for fear that one little person might follow me out of the doors without me realising. Likewise, I painstakingly cleared out the garage so we could fit the car inside; now I no longer have to have eyes on all four children as they scramble into our car parked in the drive off of a very busy road. They can put themselves in when asked and start the buckling process while I tend to the baby.
Aesthetics go out the window when you're a military spouse with a busy brain; I frequently have seasons where I park my garbage bin immediately outside of my front door for easy tossing in of nappies and full garbage bags. Does it look pretty? No. Is it functional, time saving and decreasing my procrastination? Yes! I don't have minutes to waste each day, walking the perimeter of the outside of my house or down to the street curb to throw garbage in my bins. If all I have to do is head to the front door and toss everything in … life is a whole lot easier!
Garbage bin at front door and lawnmower on patio by Canva's text to image
Speaking of garbage ... do You ever have that one bin that you just can't stand to empty? Me too! For years, I've dealt with overflowing bathroom bins that I procrastinated about emptying until they were so overfull I didn't have a choice - until one day I realised that it all came down to the size of the bin bag I was using. Using a snug fitting bag was aesthetically pleasing, but it filled quickly and overflowed everywhere EVERY SINGLE TIME I tried to get it out of the bin and the super unpleasant experience of picking up all the garbage that spilled out caused me to spiral into this self perpetuating loop of disgust and procrastination. Switching to a larger bag size and storing them under the sink immediately next to the bin instantly solved this problem … again - not as aesthetically pleasant, but no more icky garbage to pick up from the bathroom floor every time I empty the bin and no putting it off for later when everything I need is in arm's reach.
2) Don't leave a room empty handed (but be intentional about which thing you pick up!):
I've been a long time follower of some of the most popular home organisers on youtube and many years ago I heard this tip from one of them … every time you pass through a room: leave with something and put it back in it's home. I've learned by experience that I need to be extremely intentional about which item I pick up in a room, lest I simply move clutter from one place in the home to another in the name of “cleaning”. Yes, my first room is now tidy, but I've just abandoned a pile of clutter elsewhere. Nowadays, when I enter a room - I'll visually scan it as I walk in and identify which one thing I'm going to take with me when I leave and if it doesn't have a home (+ I don't have time to make it one), it doesn't get touched. Otherwise, I'll just take it with me and dump it somewhere else.
3) Simplify laundry:
Be intentional about how many items of linen and clothing you buy. I only own one summer & one winter sheet set per bed: we wash, dry and re-fit on the same day. I don't buy clothes that can't be tumble dried and all kids clothes get tossed in the one hamper: they get washed together, sorted together and popped straight in draws (adopt the no fold method - it'll change your life!). Frequent (every 18 months to 2 years) military moves are part and parcel of defence life and being minimalistic helps a busy brain on more than one front. Not only will you have less to juggle on a daily basis - less items means those cross-country relocations will be just that little bit easier on you too!
4) Wake up just 10 mins before everyone else in the house:
It is mind blowing just how many tasks you can fit into a truly intentional 5 or 10 minute window of time. I can do morning stretches, drink half a litre of water and make a few notes in my planner to externalise all the internal chatter that rumbled around in my mind all night and would otherwise clog up my brain all day. After 8 years of sleeping until the very last minute possible and then being on the back foot all day playing catch up; waking up just 10 minutes before my children has revolutionised my productivity and helped my time with them be much more intentional.
5) Outsource EVERTHING you can afford to:
Technology has brought us some beautiful advancements in time saving devices and services and I can't encourage you enough to make use of every single one that your budget allows. Meal delivery services or meal kit subscriptions, robotic cleaning devices and artificial intelligence (hello chatgpt!) to name a few are fantastic aids for the busy brain. You can set and forget some tasks, outsource others and have some simplified for you. All these services and the many others like them: save time, increase productivity, decrease procrastination and lesson stress. In my opinion, they are well worth the financial investment!
6) Give things a home where they get used (even if it seems bonkers!):
Kitchen towels and aprons belong in the pantry because it's - in the kitchen! Bath cloths can be hung in a caddy above the bath, towel hooks/hat hooks/coat hooks can be installed everywhere they these items are used and toilet cleaning supplies get locked under every bathroom sink. By keeping things at arm's reach, you're more likely to use them and less likely to procrastinate on going to fetch them! While it's tempting to keep things like cloths, towels, aprons and other linens in a linen closet where they can be stored and organised in an aesthetically pleasing way or keep all the cleaning products in one central place ... to the busy brain they're essentially useless in this location as we won't remember to go and fetch them or we'll get distracted on the way! Keep them where they’ll take 1 second or less to grab and you'll be amazed at how much more organised your time and space is.
Towels hanging above a bath tub and kitchen apron hanging in a pantry by Canva's text to image
7) Set alarms for every waking hour of the day:
They might take a little getting used to, but creating an alarm in your phone or computer for every time block of your day, helps keep your day on task and gives you an observable metric for how well you're keeping to a set routine and time schedule allowing you to optimise productivity!
8) Set all watches/clocks 10 minutes fast:
This one needs no clarification. The time blindness is real when you have a busy brain. While it's occasionally awkward to arrive somewhere in a panic, only to realise you're actually 5 minutes early and not obnoxiously late; the relief of knowing you're more likely to make it to appointments on time is worth every second gained by setting clocks early!
9) Never purposefully remember anything:
It's just a waste of mental energy trying and failing to mentally recall details later; write it down where you'll see it if it's important … if it's not, apologise that you won't remember it and move on!
10) Be real with your loved ones and help shape their expectations of you:
Explain that your brain works a little differently and that's okay! Apologise when you let your kids, spouse or someone who's counting on you down and forgive yourself too. There will be plenty of times that a date, deadline or appointment slips by all of our defenses, no matter how hard we've tried to organise and schedule and remember, but forgiveness is freedom to escape the feedback loop of anxiety/stress and busy brain chaos ;)
